Living on the Edge

It feels like I’m a woman living in the land of between.

At nearly 53, I’m feeling my Crone self yearning her wild and hoary way to the forefront. Yet, my Mother self is still planting her staff determinedly at the head of my life.

I’m a mother with two teen children still living their half-child/half-adult lives at home. This morning I was wrenched from my crone-wild dreams by the flu-hoarse voice of my son asking if he could miss school.

I bumped back into my soft, round, Mother body before all of me realized what was happening. Then stumbled through the morning, dispensing love and remedies, phoning schools and canceling appointments, with a disgruntled Crone grumbling in the background.

As Demeter and Hecate tussle for primacy, I’m left feeling unsettled. Ping-ponging between two phases of my life. Usually I negotiate edges well. But this one? This one, I’m not sure… So, of course, I wrote about it.

Living Between

In the space of a breath,
my wild-flashing
crone soul
careens still,
and in slips
the soft mother,
gentle warrior,
fierce child shielder.

A two-sounded whisper,
in a voice familiar,
that’s all it takes
to ground
my pestle.
To tame my
furious-beating
heart,
wind-streaming
hair.

In the space of a
breath,
when wild woman
sleep
falls away
broken
by the word
“Mom”
croaked
from the throat
of my suffering
child.

© 2014 Tracie Nichols

This poem has also been published On the Women’s Spiritual Poetry blog and in the poetry anthology “Where Journeys Meet: The Voice of Women’s Poetry”.

6 thoughts on “Living on the Edge

  1. Debby Stidham Avery says:

    Of course it is not suprising that you penned these emotions so well. Wouldn’t expect anything different. I am 3 years further over the edge and I’m beginning to like it there. There is a powerful pull now to gravitate…to move forward. Of course, I will always have that fierce motherness deep inside…my child is 21, but is still my child, there is also more of the crone there than three years ago. You are riding the edge beautifully, my friend. Thank you for this deeply moving testament to the unsettled and somewhat turmultuous in-between land of womanhood. We shall make wild, fierce crones! Love to you~ ❤

    Like

  2. Dianna says:

    Tracie:
    Lovely! There are so many invisible, yet edgy, transitions for us feminine, mother nurturers to make each day, and at this stage in life, I always seems to be dipping back, and leaning forward. It’s a bit of a dance and I am right there with you negotiating the edges. Thank for this…xo

    Like

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