“Where the fluffnarts are we?”

Is anyone else feeling a little smothered by, or impatient with, bigger than life drama? You can probably tell by my question that I am. Usually, I’m a pretty unflappable person (I’ve even been told that people feel more at peace when they’re around me — very grateful to know this), but like everyone I have my “enough” point, and I’m reaching it.

When I say bigger than life drama I mean our need – at least in the U.S. – to have something be presented as giant and catastrophic for us to pay attention to it.

Political rhetoric, entertainment (which are tragically becoming way too similar), news reporting, religious discussions, non-mainstream spiritual discussions, advertising… If someone isn’t throwing a temper tantrum (brides, celebrities, tattooed men building motorcycles) they’re trying to start or prevent something that will “destroy our way of life forever” (so tired of political ads and sound-bites).

It feels like we’re stuck in a groove of needing to be hyper-stimulated in order to bother showing up for our lives.

And, no, I don’t think getting irritated and ranting is necessarily a solution, especially since it’s, well, dramatic. I know some people stop watching, reading, listening to anything that feels disruptive. I’ve tried to do this, but telescoping my world smaller and smaller to avoid hyperbole doesn’t feel sustainable. I need to be engaged with my community — warts — hiccups — simple beauties and all. So, I obviously need to start with what I can affect. Me. With what I require from the world to be engaged and how I speak and write about the rhythms of our evolution. But, then I run into that pesky question, “How?”

How “fluffnarts” fit in…

A few weeks ago I took a different route when driving my daughter to a friend’s house. She was talking about her day at school as we wound down the tiny, wooded road. When she realized we were somewhere she didn’t recognize she blurted “Where the fluffnarts are we, Mom?”


After a whole lot of laughter and some serious appreciation for her ability to pop new words into being in mid-sentence, I realized that the quality of our interaction had changed. We were both more present to each other, and to the Place where we were driving. We were having a more connected conversation, no drama necessary.

For the next few weeks I thought about how a new, deeper engagement with my daughter and with Place had happened simply because we both recognized that we were on a new road. I realized that this was one possible answer to the pesky “How?” question. A simple way into engaging our lives so we are fully present, fully aware, fully participating, without needing to create a big, huge, hairy drama.

The beauty of the road less traveled…

We don’t have to be in a world-ending cataclysm or life-transforming event to appreciate our lives. We’ve gone a little numb to what’s already here. Just life. Which can be BIG and DRAMATIC, but is usually most breathtakingly beautiful in it’s subtlest moments.

Rather than needing to be hyper-stimulated, what we need is to find a different path, or a new perspective on our current path.

My assignment for the coming year is to choose less traveled roads both real and metaphoric. To wander new roads and new ideas, to peer at old ideas with a new perspective.

My intention is to appreciate what’s been quietly there in my life all along by perceiving it in a new way. I might use a different sense to appreciate it. For example, sitting and listening to my garden with my eyes closed. Or drop judgements, assumptions, and “shoulds” so I can listen more deeply to someone and truly hear both what they are saying and how they are saying it without my need to be right obliterating what they are communicating. I will speak in terms of wonder, awe and appreciation without needing drama or chaos to draw me in, or draw others to me.

What am I doing about the bigger than life dramas happening around me? Bringing curiosity to them. Looking at them through the lenses of beginner’s eyes. Encouraging people who are starting drama-less conversations of their own by joining in. Starting a few drama-less conversations myself.

What do you think? Are you willing to take a road less traveled and ask yourself “Where the fluffnarts are we?” I’d love for you to join the conversation 🙂

Updated, rewritten and republished January 1, 2017. Originally published May 31, 2012.

7 Replies to ““Where the fluffnarts are we?””

  1. Where in the fluffnarts am I? Oh… right her reading this wonderful post!

    I agree, I have found, since I have moved from a very “dramatic” relationship, here, in our new apt.. with my children, DRAMA FREE!!, that the children and I, have very meaningful, mindful, and interesting conversations. We are on a different road..and this road has allowed us to connect.. to really be who we are and nevermind the drama!

    I love it here!

    in fluffnart world.!


  2. Tracy a lovely thinking on this sunny morning! I have been out of touch of old ways for quite a bit now and I must say taking less traveled roads is rewarding. The winds and twists can through you off but then if you are in unfamaliar you are already off. The uncertainty is harrowing until you consider it a delightful adventure and just expect nothing. Regarding your ranting, I consider it all clearing out of frustration, outworn, and even silly patterns to see them for what they are. It is happening in our world, seeing the crazy oddness that we are going around as normal. I find it all just up for review and with passion we dispel it using the emotion of ranting or whatever, transforming it toward things we value and grounding them in more! It is a silly time if you can get there. The things that are passing are quite unusual yet they are quite routine in our world. It is best to consider it all fun and games, fly with the emotions and then transform them into something as lovely as the fluffnarts! It is frustrating and hysterical all within a few moments! Riding the wave they call it! Haha! Thank you!


    1. Lyn, you’re so right. Getting playful with it is definitely the way to go. And, I can see your point about ranting being a way of moving old patterns out. I just want to be mindful not to perpetuate the drama by ranting 🙂


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