I didn’t realize how depleted I was until I stopped by my favorite woods today.
Until I rolled to a stop, turned off the car and the sound of birdsong and leaves in the wind filtered into my cells.
Tears started when I felt those trees wrap their ageless presence around me.
I handed them my tired-of-running heart, brimming with gratitude, and they tucked her away in their mossy roots.
The muscular one still pumps away in my chest. But, her essence? She’s spending some time in the soft, speckled sunlight with the trees.
I’ll pick her up the next time my little orange car slows her zoom in their sacred shade.
Life happens. Even when we’re paying attention.
Even when I’m paying attention. Even when I know how to care for myself. Even when I’m nourishing myself through my relationship with nature. Even then, life can happen. And a day, or a week, or a few weeks require me to be on the edge of my resilience constantly. And even though I know it’s happening, I may still not catch just how frazzled I am.
So, I love when serendipity swirls in and lines things up so the lightbulb can go on. When I pulled onto that tiny road that bisects my favorite tiny woods today there were no other cars so I was able to stop. The road remained weirdly car-less so I could turn Esme (my car) off and feel the trees….and the ache in my own heart.
What’s the ache about?
With the combination of earthquakes and extreme weather causing so much anguish to both human beings and to nature beings I’m feeling inundated by wave after wave of grief, pain, anger, disbelief, betrayal.
Natural disasters can be somewhat of a special circumstance for highly sensitive people, especially when they are deeply connected with the earth. They can raise uncomfortable questions, even spark a spiritual crisis. Mindful presence and self-love become especially important practices so we can stay present with those who need our help. Of course, it’s essential to figure out which practices and ideas work for you. Here are some of my thoughts…
Tending to our own hearts keeps us resilient so we can reach out the next time somebeing needs us.
We are entirely capable of acknowledging our own grief and confusion while we are responding in constructive ways to a crisis.
For me, I realized that rather than increase my illusory separation from wild nature when disasters happened, I needed to get closer. I needed to recall more of her wordless vocabulary and be in even deeper communion with my more-than-human kin.
Some people respond to the onslaught of reactions by putting up mental or energetic barriers. I find that exhausting to maintain. Partnering with essential oils and vibrational essences helps keep me grounded. Opening myself wider so I’m radiating even more love keeps me engaged without burning out. It also keeps me open to that serendipitous moment when my nature family helps me realize I need to recharge.
Do you have a sense of what works for you?