3 a.m.? Really?

I’ve been having a blow-it-all-up day for weeks.

Mired in anxiety, worry, stress. Feeling the two ton block of shoulds and musts precariously balanced on my short woman shoulders slowly swallowing me.

Things were getting dark, but I wasn’t going down easily.

So, I stayed up to 3 a.m…….listening…..

My throbbing, raw HSP senses needed a nearly new moon night’s dark, empty blanket to sort things out without torrents of noise, movement, texture, color, smells and empathy driven emotions enveloping me because the rest of my local world is awake.

I lit a candle (electric light felt too harsh) and let my mind and body just pause. No agenda. Stepping back from expectations as much as possible.

It took a bit, but my breathing slowed, my jaw relaxed, my head emptied and I found myself smiling gently. Empty space is good.

Eventually I could hear myself — my quiet, calm, occasionally wise inner voice. And, damn, did she have some helpful things to tell me.

I no longer want to blow it all up. My creativity is asserting herself. I’m consciously engaged with the must-do’s on my list. Breathing….

It’s not a miracle. There are still things to sort out. My stuff will continue to come up. But…I’m listening. I put down the two tons of guilt stones and picked up only the true priorities.

This moment is good. I’m leaving the next moment until it arrives.

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